the scariest thing i have ever experienced;

is being vulnerable to someone else, as i am right now. it's insane how much we open ourselves to others. let them control us in a way. a few words from him could shatter my world, &a few different words can make my heart skip a beat. it's so weird. i love it, but at the same time i'm so scared. things are changing, the way i look at things is changing, the walls are being torn down, &i'm becoming less and less defended every single day. it scares me more than anything else in the world, i can't even explain to you. so, why am i doing it? he's so worth it, so amazing, i love everything about him. that's why. because even if in the end i do end up shattered, it's worth it. my biggest fear is being vulnerable, in any way at all. i'm kind of losing my vision, as in i need glasses, and even though it's not that bad, it scares me so much. i don't like the thought of relying on someone else so much, but that's where trust comes in, right? i do trust him, i'd trust him with my life. &i can't say that for many people anymore, not even most members of my family. i told myself i wasn't gonna do this anymore, no more relationships. but, he just took over. he's always on my mind, no matter what. he gives me butterflies & makes me smile everyday. it's so early, but it's insane how deep these feelings run. i'm falling my friend, falling fast.

♥

i have faith in this.

sometimes you just need to let go.

you need to learn that.

it's over,

deal with it.

“if i were asked to give what i consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity it would be this: expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye and say, 'i will be bigger than you. you cannot defeat me.'”

♥

everyone just needs to stop for a second.

take a deep breath.

EVERYTHING IS OKAY.

♥

Samuel Haye Coynes.

oh my god... i miss you. you flash through my mind everyday, i miss you so much. i love you, always know that. &though i know you're happier now, at least i hope, it still kills me that you're not here. one day, i'll see you again. best friends for forever, and that's something i can stick to. i miss everything we all use to do together, and how happy we were when we were young, rest in peace dear, you deserve it.

6/15/93-5/7/08.

sometimes it's funny how life works out.

♥

3rd person point of view.

sometimes i get this feeling, like im reading a book written in the 3rd person limited point of view. i see things happen to the people around me, and it's almost like im watching it all from the outside. this can be really odd, but i like it at times as well.

advice; it's hard to sit there and tell someone everything will get better and know that they know that. i don't care what's going on; relationship ending, divorce, loss of a friend, eventually it will all be better. &of course at the time you don't think that.
see, the problem is is that when we're in a hole like that, that's all we think about. we keep thinking about the situation itself. so, we focus on the bad things around us, which by the law of attraction brings more bad. if everyone would just take a negative situation like that & use it to grow and learn everyone would be happier.

i'm not saying we can't get upset, i'd be a hypocrite if i did, but in terms of helping you get yourself out of that hole you're in, that's the advice i offer.

stop looking at what's wrong, and look at what's right.
grow, learn, &mature.

that seems to be difficult for us.